100 Reasons To Stay Alive

I am happy (and slightly shocked) to say that I am 18. Today is my birthday and I am officially an adult… I don’t really know how I feel about that. However, I am here. I am alive, even though there were many times when I thought I wouldn’t have the strength to go on and reach this beautiful age…

I want to celebrate the fact that I AM ALIVE. So what a better way to do it than by listing 100 reasons to keep going. To STAY ALIVE. This will also serve as a reminder that life is beautiful, with its ups and downs and there are too many magical moments to just give up.

Here are my 100 Reasons To Stay Alive

  1. My parents
  2. Cutting my hair short after it’s been long for a while
  3. Seeing the birds fly
  4. Sunrises
  5. Sunsets
  6. Discovering a cool TV show
  7. Buying water bottles from dollar stores
  8. Meeting new people
  9. Poetry
  10. Free concerts
  11. Killing a spider or a mosquito
  12. Midnight car drives
  13. Reading my old journal
  14. Jewelry
  15. My dog
  16. Doodling in my Latin notebook
  17. Storms
  18. Hearing the story behind a tattoo
  19. The smell of freshly cut grass
  20. The moon covered by thin clouds
  21. Crystals
  22. Randomly bumping into someone famous
  23. Back rubs
  24. Museums
  25. Supporting my artist friends
  26. Chai Latte
  27. Stand up comedy shows
  28. Decorating the Christmas tree
  29. Flowers
  30. The ocean
  31. Rediscovering old music which I used to love
  32. The German language
  33. The English language
  34. Ordering a bunch of books online
  35. Foxes
  36. Chocolate
  37. A good sneeze
  38. Lemonade
  39. Going on hikes
  40. Planting a tree
  41. Writing
  42. Getting a 10 at English
  43. Supporting my LGBT friends
  44. Drinking ice-cold water on a hot day
  45. Trying to eat during class
  46. Passing an exam I studied hard for
  47. Glitter
  48. Being alone
  49. Seeing a cute stranger
  50. The feeling after I finish a book
  51. Rainy days
  52. New music from my favorite artists
  53. Meeting the word target for an essay
  54. Laughing when I am not supposed to
  55. Volunteering
  56. PowerPoint Presentations
  57. Finding cool stuff at the thrift store
  58. Seeing myself get better at a skill
  59. Gardening
  60. Dollar coffee from the school’s vending machine
  61. Theatre plays
  62. Picking up berries with my grandma
  63. Memes
  64. The stars
  65. Viewing old photos/videos of myself
  66. Going on road trips
  67. Dancing around the house
  68. Finding a new cafe that I love
  69. Having a secret crush
  70. Discovering that I have mutual interests with people I find cool
  71. Searching for an interesting book at the library
  72. Feeling pretty
  73. Tea
  74. Changing my handwriting and trying it out
  75. The feeling when plans I did not want to commit to get cancelled
  76. Seeing the trees bloom
  77. Little elephant statues
  78. Getting an invitation to an event
  79. Learning new words
  80. City lights when it’s dark outside
  81. Watching a great documentary before I go to sleep
  82. Holding hands with someone for the first time
  83. Moving on
  84. Buying a new mug
  85. Crossing something off from my bucket list
  86. When my period is over
  87. The first snow of the year
  88. Moccacino
  89. Convincing someone to quit smoking
  90. Passing by someone who wears good perfume
  91. Winning a prize/competition/contest
  92. Finally spotting the airplane after I heard its noise for a while
  93. Tennis
  94. Soft skin after shaving
  95. Having to dress fancy
  96. Seeing the numbers on the scale drop
  97. Seeing the people I love smile
  98. Meditation
  99. Warm showers

The 100th Reason

Everything is temporary. Nothing stays the same. Change occurs no matter what. Life is a continuous surprise. You got to stay alive if you want to see what’s coming next.

What are your reasons to stay alive?

gold diggers

i need a new friend to buy

could i get a discount this time

or maybe a two for one

that would be great

this time, however, 

i ain’t giving you anything

on a silver plate

gold diggers are my type

i fuel their love for me

with gifts and money

i am not rich, though

first i have to check then swipe

but for a friend i would do anything

for i love them so
even if my love might be

fake from time to time

COPYRIGHT Oceauxnic 2017 


my essence is archaic

it’s been around since the beginning

it has never been stardust,

water, smoke nor sunlight

it has been forever trapped in vessels

it might have been alpha,

thus it will be omega

forever trapped

trapped forever

because apparently

i cannot learn from my own mistakes


COPYRIGHT Oceauxnic 2017 

The Future

Sometimes I feel like I have fucked up my own future. That some of the choices I take will alter the days that are to come. I’m planting seeds of despair, sadness and hatred… I will harvest dry flowers, rotten fruit and weeds. The sun never shines over my garden, the water has never touched its soil. That’s not an orchard that you see… it’s a graveyard. I buried all my past selves there. Like a snake, I shed my skin every spring. I try to get rid of the parasites and grow. But I am afraid I might grow too much and I will be obliged to swallow my own tail. Once I finish my meal, I will enter a void. I’ll be the uncreated once again… forever waiting for another chance to be something ethereal on Earth. 


COPYRIGHT Oceauxnic 2017