Sometimes you just feel artsy and shit but you just can’t create because nothing inspires you and the words are running as far away from you as they can.
That’s how I’ve been feeling lately… and by lately, I mean the last couple of years. The things that I’ve written till now… that’s not what I’m about. I feel deeply, think deeply and believe it or not, I used to express myself deeply. I used to write a lot; everything and anything that came to my mind. It didn’t matter if it was good or not. I was guided by the feeling of moving a pen across a piece of paper. I used to write so many poems, stories, essays, I even started to write a book.
Then it just stopped. All of a sudden and unexpectedly. I don’t know why or how. It just did.
I have spent the last two years mopping around, feeling numb, losing interest in everything that I used to love. Never in my life have I experienced such a powerful change. I was confused, sad, empty… only so I could let my wings grow, eventually.
The emotions that I’ve felt were strong, but only made me stronger. They are the reason why I am the way that I am. I don’t regret anything that happened in the past.
I just wish I would have realized that the past formed you, but it doesn’t have any power upon you now, sooner.
Now I can say that I’ve started to get back in shape. I write more, read more, watch more, learn more. I practice things that I would’ve never thought I would. But the thing that surprises me most is:
I’m a step closer to happiness.
And one day,
I’ll achieve it!